


Sirius Possibilities, aka The Logic of Sirius

by Tpants



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: rs_games, Fluff, Humor, M/M, R/S Games 2017, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-10 07:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12294045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tpants/pseuds/Tpants
Summary: R/S Games 2017 - Day 9 - Team SiriusSirius buys a "cottage" for Remus and him. Obviously, there is a lot of work to do and Sirius has some high expectations.





	Sirius Possibilities, aka The Logic of Sirius

**Author's Note:**

> **Team:** Sirius  
>  **Title:** Sirius Possibilities, aka The Logic of Sirius  
>  **Rating:** T  
>  **Warnings:** Foul language, mention of sex, questionable pet name choices, adorable custard alpaca  
>  **Genres:** Fluff/Romance/Humor  
>  **Word Count:** 3800  
>  **Summary:** Sirius buys a "cottage" for Remus and him. Obviously, there is a lot of work to do and Sirius has some high expectations.  
>  **Notes:** Thanks to my betas, you know who you are. I love you and I'm sorry for the misery I imposed upon you.  
>  **Prompt:** #78 - Calvin  & Hobbes comic strip about the stars and perspective, by Bill Watterson  
> 

Sirius was what Remus would call, ‘Stupid rich’.

Not because the man was unintelligent by any measure (still an ongoing debate) or that he had an endless amount of wealth (it was pretty damn close). It was simply because Sirius had little to no understanding as to what constituted normal spending.

During first year, Sirius was absolutely appalled that the Hogwarts silverware wasn’t silver. If Remus hadn’t been a werewolf, he would never have expected to actually eat with literal silver cutlery much less know the difference between silver and stainless steel.

In second year, Remus figured that James and Sirius were in similar categories of wealth until they stayed over and had this conversation:

“Which dining room is for lunch?”

“This one?”

“You use the same dining room for breakfast AND lunch? Soon you’ll tell me that you also use it for dinner.”

“….we do.”

Apparently, in the Ancient and Noble House of Black, they had a separate dining room for separate meals and events. Not that anyone was ever allowed to visit.

In third year, Sirius got his bearings together over the not-silver-silverware and the-not-having-of-multiple-dining-rooms. Remus figured the four of them had a fair understanding of each other. Then Sirius had to go and get offended over tea in divination.

“This is not white tea, it’s too mature for that.”

Remus couldn’t tell if he should be impressed by the fact that Sirius had such sensitive taste buds or be concerned that Sirius actually fucking cared.

It wasn’t long after the tea incident that involved Sirius demanding that his family send him proper tea for divination, that Sirius snogged Remus. The reasoning he had at the time was that black tea from England lacked the spice of the Tibet mountains and the best way to taste was off the ever-pure lips of Sirius Black. The innocent snogging over tea lead to shoulder bumps whenever they were not nearly close enough. They never did feel the need to define their relationship until James decided that Remus was going on dates with Lily Evans, when in reality they were discussing feelings over stupid dark-haired boys that cannot stay out of trouble.

Out of jealously, the aforementioned boys went over the top in declaring their undying love. James had all of the Hogwart’s towers charmed to sing various love poems to Lily for a solid week and a half. Sirius on the other side considered hexing anyone who even looked at Remus...then solved the problem by placing a solid gold collar on Remus’ neck with the words: “Property of Sirius Black”. Initially, it was surprising that Remus didn’t murder him for spending money on such opulence and selfishness. Apparently, that was also how Sirius’ father got his mother’s attention from his cousins. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and proceeded to explain why that is not normal and Sirius should put the damn gold collar in a vault or something because hell would freeze over before Remus would wear that in public.

Sometimes they’re allowed to use it in private.

Sirius hounded, begged, yelled, screamed, and had nearly cried until Remus agreed to move in with him after Lily moved in with James. The flat was tiny, even with their abilities to add bedrooms and play with the apartment’s dimensions. It was tiny because Remus wouldn’t allow him to pay for the entire rent and Sirius really didn’t care as long as he woke up to Remus, burnt Remus’ coffee with the weird muggle coffee dripper, kissed Remus before they left for their day jobs, came home to Remus, and slept on or with Remus depending on his form.

Then they did end up talking about a new place. A place that they didn’t need to rent. It was just passing conversation of how nice it would be to not pretend to be muggle. Perhaps have some privacy and space for the full moon. They outgrew the shrieking shack years ago and the wolfsbane helped. But sometimes it would be nice to be able to stretch their legs and go for a run in the moonlight. Most of the time Remus would shoot down Sirius’ suggestion of owning an island and having what sounded like a small village built around their castle. The goal was to always reel in Sirius’ grandiose ideas.

Remus spoke about his grandparents’ old cottage. Sirius was enamoured by the idea of cozy Friday nights in front of a fire followed by gardening Saturdays and lazy Sundays. The more Remus spoke about everyone being together the more Sirius started to shrink away from the idea of a castle in Romania.

All of those years of correcting Sirius’ interesting ideas of relative normalcy, had never lead to Remus looking at this “cottage”.

“...Sirius, what did you mean when you said you ‘bought it’?”

“As in, I saw it, it was perfect and I had to buy it before someone else could buy it first.”

Remus stared at the “cottage” before shuffling the box in his hands. He knew something had been up when Sirius had just straight up canceled the lease on their flat. They had managed to put everything they owned in two boxes, one was Sirius’ closet and the other was everything else in their flat.

He did give Sirius credit. It was secluded enough for both of them and his furry little problem considering it was out in the middle of nowhere Scotland. Sirius even kindly pointed out that their modest two acres were surrounded by a forest with only one path in. The nearest muggle establishment was probably on the other side of the hill.

“Come on, we should start moving in.” Sirius nudged at Remus before walking down the path.

They had discussed what a cottage was, what it was that they were looking for, and somehow, Remus was looking at this “cottage”. It had the type of gate that opened onto a pathway through the garden and led up to the actual dwelling. Only the difference here was that the gate opened to what could easily be a small park. There was a water feature big enough to house large lilies.

The cottage had six bedrooms (why would they need so many?), five bathrooms, one dining room (thank Merlin), a kitchen, a living room, and a library. At least, so far, that was all they had. They hadn’t even started messing with the dimensions. Not that they would have to, Remus thought. Hoped.

It was just them after all.

Following Sirius into the cottage, Remus looked around the front room. He was going to assume it was the family room or maybe the parlour. A layer of dust covered the floor and Remus was ready to fish out his wand to clear out the room when Sirius walked over to open all the windows. Together it only took a few quick cleaning charms to make it habitable.

"What do you think? I don't think we have to worry about any dust bunnies, right?' Sirius grinned the same shit-eating grin that looked deeper now than it did when they first moved in together.

"It's...impressive." Remus wasn't sure if he meant the cottage or Sirius.

The first time Sirius and James moved out from Mr. and Mrs. Potters' home, they were at a complete loss as to how to function without the aid of house elves. The first time James used a broom for something other than quidditch led to a full-on dust storm in the kitchen. Sirius was not a bad cook, other than the fact that he could not tell the difference between flour and baking soda. Remus couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh or cry when they realized that they had to do their own laundry or they would be forced to go naked for a day. Not that it bothered Sirius too much to lay about naked. Remus ended up not minding as much as he thought he would have. James was the one that surprisingly made house rules after he walked in on them on the couch.

"Of course it's impressive," Sirius looked very proud of himself. "I picked it because it met every single one of our needs."

"...And why did we need six bedrooms?"

"For when James, Lily, Prongslet, and soon-to-be-Miniprongs is staying over. Or when Peter balls up enough to stay over again."

"Can you blame him when the last time he was over, you had to regrow his eyebrows because you saw some muggle dish you had to try and make."

"He got them back. I fail to see the problem."

"...I'm going to need some tea if we're going to have this conversation." Remus set down his box and began to rummage through it for their kitchenware.

"Sounds good." Sirius reached over Remus's shoulder to grab another box. "I'm going to set up the dining room."

Remus started to put away their kitchenware while the kettle was heating. The cabinets gave him some headspace, unlike their flat where he had to watch his head at the counters. There was enough space for both of them in the kitchen here. No more squeezing past each other to get breakfast done or bumping shoulders while doing the dishes.

In the dining room Sirius set down the last chair before taking a step back, and with a wave of his wand all the furniture grew back to their full size. With a few more adjustments to the layout the dining room starting to look more hospitable. He rustled with everything until he realized what it was wrong. Their furniture was too modest for the space. Back at their flat, it had seemed cumbersome.

Maybe he could fit this into the kitchen and get a new dining room set. Walking back into the kitchen, he was about to call out loudly to Remus. But there was his Remus, staring at the tea kettle. He looked so lonely in the large kitchen, Sirius had to walk over and wrap his arms around the man’s waist. Setting his chin on Remus' shoulder, watching the same kettle.

It looked like Remus had already gotten the dishware in place, already put their favorite mugs on the lower shelf in the cabinet. Perfectly in reach for him to grasp and set their two mugs on the counter.

"Moony, we don't have milk."

"Or sugar."

"I put the sugar bowl with the tea set."

"You like milk in your tea."

"You like sugar in tea. I'll settle for Moony tea."

"We are not shagging in the kitchen."

"Of course not, we didn't finish unpacking yet."

“Then I recommend getting your hand out of my trousers.”

“You know, we need to do those cleansing rituals to make sure the space is ours and ward against bad vibes and all that. Very important when moving into a new home.”

 

_“Look, Sirius, that’s the star you’re named after. The brightest star in the sky, that’s how important you are.”_

_Orion Black held his three-year-old son, in his arm against his chest, so that he could just be a little closer to the star he was named after. Sirius couldn’t figure out which star he was named after. All the stars in the sky looked like sparkling dots to him, but he assumed whichever one he thought was the shiniest was his._

_"See, Sirius, if people just look at the stars more, they'll live life differently. Then they'll be more like us. Pure and noble."_

_Sirius nodded and placed his head on his dad's shoulder. "But isn't the moon the brightest? Is it purer and nobler?"_

_"Don't be foolish, Sirius. The stars lend the moon its light. The moon would be nothing without the stars. The moon is like...half-breeds."_

 

Sirius stirred awake, realizing he had fallen asleep on the couch. He hadn't dreamt about his father in such a serene manner in a long time. Sometimes he would bolt up to the sound of his mother's voice in his head but rarely had his father made an appearance in his dreams. Especially an old memory like that.

Sirius stretched his back as he made his way to the kitchen to make tea. Setting the water to boil, Sirius set down two mugs and the sugar bowl. It had been two days since they had moved in and they hadn't had a chance to get milk. There were a lot of rooms for them to get _acquainted_ with. It was a good night for something warm since the autumn chill was setting in throughout Scotland. Dropping the loose tea leaves into the teapot before pouring the boiling water into the white tea leaves.

Once the tea was ready, he poured it into their favorite mugs and levitated them to follow him as he searched for Remus. Their house still had space since they hadn't been able to go out and buy new furnishings for their home.

There were only a few places that Sirius expected to find Remus.

The library was enchanted to be bigger than it really was to compensate for their book collection. By the looks of it, they might be able to relieve their storage space at the Potters’ soon and fill in the rest of the shelves. The desk and chairs they currently had in there were already looking dwarfed by the bookshelves. Thankfully, Remus was very capable of adding windows without deforming the exterior of the house.

If Remus wasn't in the library, then he had to be upstairs.

At the top of the steps, Sirius looked into the master bedroom. They hadn’t finished renovating it because they wanted to charm the ceiling like the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Only for some reason, the ceiling kept raining on them. Not that it stopped them from performing the first cleansing ritual.

For now, they were camping out in one of the spare bedrooms. Sirius was convinced that they needed to get more furniture but Remus wanted to completely unpack first. Just so they didn’t end up accidentally buying duplicates. Sirius’s response might have been to unload their entire lot of furniture into one bedroom. It so happened that Sirius had a parchment for hanging chandeliers and crystals from the ceiling. The only problem with two chandeliers and twenty-seven individual crystals was his beloved werewolf was just perfect eye height to most of them. Sirius on the other hand, skimmed right under them.

He peeked into the bedroom in case Remus had been attacked by another dangling crystal and was plotting his demise. Again. The bedroom was empty. Sirius furrowed his brow. Six bedrooms was a lot of bedrooms to go looking for one Remus.

“Moony?” Sirius hollered, then waited for a response. Nothing. “Mooonny!...Honeymoon bunny apple pie of my eye, where art thou? If you don’t respond, I can keep going, Moonbeam. Where art thou, Moonshine? Adoring sweet, charming, earnest, chocolate mi amour moonymine is missing.”

“ATTIC! I’M IN THE ATTIC!” Remus’ disembodied voice came from above Sirius’ head. Sirius grinned to himself, after all these years he still knew how to tug on the right nerves.

“I brought tea,” Sirius announced as he made his way up the stairs. He looked and sure enough, the ceiling had been replaced with the galaxies and stars. Another step into the attic showed that Remus had done more than just changed the ceiling. Instead, he walked right into a sea of stars, and one of the tea mugs spun on the milky way.  A shooting star shot past him and through the other floating mug. “...You put the entire universe into our attic but you let me charm our bedroom into a hurricane?”

“I had faith in your abilities and I’m sure you’ll fix it, what was it that you called me? Mi amour moonymine?” Remus didn’t even bother to look up from the parchment he was writing.  “Where did you even come up with that?”

“Muggle telly. I figured muggles have a formula for endearments. First, start with something sweet, then some sort of food, and end in some cute animal. Adorable custard alpaca.” Remus’s eyebrow quirked up even if he didn’t look up from the parchment.

Sirius had been doing muggle studies since they left Hogwarts. Which included muggle culture, that Sirius almost got right. Almost. Remus didn’t have it in him to tell Sirius that it really wasn’t required for muggles to bathe with rubber ducks or that adorable custard alpaca was not really endearing.

Squeezing in beside Remus on the pile of cushions and blankets, Sirius looked at the parchment. “Since when are you into divination?” “Since half of my students hate it and therefore have set up camp at my office for some guidance.” Remus answered, “Got to give them some sort of notes to figure it out.“

“It’s literally making up some story and everyone believes you or assumes the stars or tea leaves were just not sitting right. Go big and vague.” Sirius waved his hand in the air, knocking Black Eye Galaxy out of orbit.

“Not everyone can come up with outrageous stories about a big black dog and then proceed to make the story real by jumping on people as a big black dog.” Remus shook his head and pulled one of the mugs out of the air to sip. “You’re being really indulgent with the teas. You really don’t need to be pulling out the silver needles tea in the middle of the night.”

“I’m not even going to justify that with a rebuttal.” But Sirius was proud. Remus never cared much for specific tea that wasn’t black nor really cared what kind they were as long as they had the perfect ratio of milk and sugar. It took him months before Remus finally noticed the difference between silver needle white tea jasmine and eyebrow white tea jasmine.

Sitting there in the quiet of their little universe as they sipped at their tea, Sirius looked over the notes Remus had made in his meticulous handwriting. It had changed since Hogwarts. Remus used to have the smallest, tightest, neatest handwriting that Sirius had ever seen. There was none of the calligraphic flair that Sirius’ had. No, it was as if it was written by a typewriter. Now, it was still neat but with free-flowing personality.

“....You do realize, they know we made the biggest divination lie known to the wizarding world, right? It pretty much discredits all of your notes.”

Remus snorted. “Only you made that ridiculous lie and spread it across the wizarding world and nearly got your balls hexed off by Lily.”

Sirius looked absolutely offended at Remus. “Who would have thought ol’ Moldymort would believe that a baby born on a random day would be the death of him? And second of all, Harry was supposed to be born two weeks later. I was trying to make sure my godson lived in a Volde-free world.”

“Just be grateful that he believed it and Lily put the fear of Merlin into every member of the Order to defend her son in what could be considered the most half-baked plan ever. Luring every Death Eater into your godson’s nursery is an awful plan. Using Peter to act as a backstabbing spy is just plain cruel.”

“His animagus is a rat, it practically screams ‘I’ll betray my friends even though I have no backbone’. And the important thing is that it worked. Voldy believed Wormtail, went running with his army of bad wizard fashion into a nursery. We basically just boxed up the nursery and sent it off to Azkaban.” Sirius put his mug to float away with a random comet to nuzzle his nose against the werewolf's jaw.

Taking another sip of his mug, Remus looked at Sirius with his best professor glare. “It was a massive battle and we could have lost everything.”

“But we didn’t.”

“We still don’t know if the Dark Lord is really gone.”

“What is he going to do? Come back in some other form, try to be dramatic again, and then I’ll have to upstage him by kicking his arse? Nothing to worry about.”

“Oh yes. What was I thinking, no one is a bigger drama queen than Sirius Black. How dare Voldemort try.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but it didn’t stop him from smiling at how ridiculous his boyfriend seemed to make the biggest threat to the wizarding world sound. The same way that Sirius convinced Remus that it was alright to invite the Giant Squid to a tea party in the Slytherin’s dorm in sixth year. The same tone that got Remus to agree that it was just a snog later that year. That same tone that made it obvious that they simply come in pairs and it was foolish to even try to part them in seventh year. The same tone that got them moving into a flat alone together when James and Lily got engaged. The same tone that announced that Sirius bought them their first cottage.

All of the complicated things in life sounded so simple when Sirius said them.

“I’m more concerned that you made this poetically romantic room, have your wonderful boyfriend by your side, and you insist on talking about another man and making notes. Look at the stars, Moony. People would live differently if they stopped to look at the stars.”

“Oh really?” Remus set his empty mug next to Sirius’ as the comet made another pass by them.

“When you look at the stars like this, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.” Sirius was surprised to hear himself nearly saying the same things as his father had twenty years ago; only, instead of being equal to the stars, he could not compare to such far away ideals.

"That's insightful of you, Padfoot."

Remus let out a sigh. His hand found Sirius'. Their lives were insignificant compared to the stars and galaxies. For all their insignificance, Remus would not trade their clumsy snuggling in the attic for all the stars in the universe. “We just spent two days shagging in every room of our new home, Padfoot.”

“First of all,” Sirius sat up, looking completely offended as he held up his index finger. “They’re rituals to make sure that this entire space is ours, no ill will enter, we’re really good at shagging.” Sirius held up a finger for every single point he made. “And most importantly, _I_ should be the _only_ star you’re looking at!”

“I don’t know.” Remus should have known better than to walk right into that pun, but two can play that game. “I don’t know, Arcturus is looking pretty over there.”

“OI!”


End file.
